Introducing An 18-Part Series: The Nature Of Love
Posted on 01/21/2013 by Valerie Varan
Love is an energy, an energy that pulses from Divine Life into the heart of all living things, interconnecting all that is, the spiritual with the material. In September 2010, Today.com reported the story of Kate Ogg and her newborn son, Jamie, who was brought to life through his mother’s love, after being pronounced dead by the attending physicians. Jamie was born prematurely, 27 weeks into Kate’s pregnancy. The doctors tried for 20 minutes to get him to breathe, but their efforts failed. Kate insisted on cuddling him up to her heart, wanting Jamie to know he was loved. Her husband, David, joined his body to theirs. After awhile, little Jamie began to stir. The doctors initially refused to come and see, certain he was dead, and dismissed these subtle clues of life as meaningless reflex. But Jamie opened his eyes, and began to thrive. Because conventional medicine has no conception of love as a real energy, they fail to harness its power for healing, health and wellbeing. Love as energy is in some measure enlivening, expanding and creating. It is beneficently supporting, building, nourishing, allowing and thus freeing.
2nd Insight: Love energy is a vibration, a pulse, a rhythm of energy we can sense in our innermost being.
Have you ever wondered how we tend to evolve in the ways of love? Here is a brief look at love as it unfolds through us. Stage 1: “I love me” This is the stage where “me, me, me” is the object of love. We focus on our safety, security, self-preservation, appearance…the physical aspects of self. Physical sensation rules. Love is confused with sex. Instinct is the predominant consciousness here. This aspect of love is needed because we have to be very aware of the physical self or else we would run into walls and, in many ways, hurt ourselves. However, if we overdo it, we can get stuck in narcissism. Balance is key. Stage 2: “I love you, on condition that…” This is the stage where “you”, another person or thing, is the object of love. Here, we focus on love for family, friends, and most of all, our beloved or significant other. But love is usually limited to one or few people, and handed out on condition that we get something in return. Our big desire is to get into intimate relationship, marry, and have children. Yet, we have this selfish habit of picking people who “complete us”, who fulfill certain needs that we see in ourselves. Unfortunately, these types of relationships aren’t often sustainable because when we outgrow the need, we outgrow the person.
Though in reality love is already present in all dimensions simultaneously, it appears to us as if it evolves. Within ourselves as individuals, as well as within our social and cultural norms. It seems to enter our human consciousness in steps, as if we were climbing a ladder. From a physical instinctual style of living, to an emotional relational feeling style, to an intellectual thinking way of being, toward a more integrative and social creative mindset, and even beyond all of that, we are transformed. Most of us have at least touched the first three steps. But we differ in which step we choose to live our life from as our usual way of being, whether the physical, emotional or mental realm of love consciousness.
Love is the divine force that unites all as one. It is ultimately always love that heals, by returning us back to our source for wholeness. Try this exercise in self-healing with love:
Since it is Love energy that actually heals, use your ability to imagine the experience of unbounded Love to elevate yourself to the highest state of love consciousness that you can before you begin your healing meditation.
If you haven’t seen Les Miserables, go see it in theatres now! Far from depressing, it shows the commanding power of love and forgiveness.
Many people have asked me how to know whether or not they are loving their spouse or partner in “healthy enough” ways. They wonder how they can best support their loved one on a daily basis, in the daily activity of their relationship. First of all, ask them. In a quiet moment, when you are talking about your relationship, ask them directly in which ways you could do more to make them feel loved. The goal is to allow them space to be who they really are authentically inside, to freely support them as they express their loving self in the world at large, to forgive them when they make mistakes as we expect them to forgive us in return, and to give plenty of room for change, balance, growth and evolution. In the person, as well as in the relationship. Realize that everyone experiences love differently. The mistake we often make is assuming that the way we like to experience love is the way our partner likes to experience love. For instance, I feel very loved when my husband does little things for me without me having to ask him, like emptying the dishwasher, vacuuming the floors, or picking up clutter around the house. Why?