The Melancholy of Discontent

Clinging to my bosom
lies a melancholy of discontent,
unsettled terrain
within this cavern body,
a malaise of disconnection.

Rumbling, grumbling, stirring, yearning.
There, upon scant introspection, a reticence interrupts,
and causes pause of closer contemplation.
Overtakes it, a gripping fear
that ripped apart,
my maternal existence as I’ve known.

Yet, too, a certainty dawns
within this dark and foggy cave,
that prolonged avoidance and desperate ignorance
can only guarantee my breaking.

So it is, I seek
a realization,
the source of this undoing,
this crumbling of my ground.
And there I find,
instead of death,
a birth
of rising fertile soil.

Firm and sure, this new terrain,
renewed life within my bosom springs,
a connection never felt before.

My heart, the door,
a void, no more.

Varan, Valerie. “The Melancholy of Discontent.” 2014.

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